The Struggle is Real : How to Potty Train your Toddler - Tips from a Seattle Children's Photographer
Let me start by saying what you’re probably thinking… What does potty training a toddler have to do with family and newborn photography?
Short answer: Not a whole lot.
If you have kids at home, potty training might be something you’re experiencing these days, and I hope you can relate to the stories I share. And if you’d rather read more about the lifestyle family and newborn photography sessions I offer, you can learn more here or send me a note.
This blog is a space where you’ll be able to learn more about me (if you’d like to) what goes on in my life, and once and while I might share a recipe because I love to bake. As long as you’re not expecting anything terribly exciting! My life is as normal as buttered toast, just how I like it.
Recently, my sister referred to me as an “Expert Parent”. She’s a new mother to our adorable nephew and maybe it appears that I have lots of answers to those mysterious questions that swirl around in her mind. But trust me. While I may have parenting experience, a parenting expert I am not. I’m still aiming to learn something new about my kids each day. As they grow they throw lots of curve balls!
As 40-something parents attempting to potty train our third child, my husband and I are a bit late to the party. Our daughter is 3.5 years old, has a mature vocabulary, can count to 20 and knows to wait until I leave her bedroom before she does anything sneaky. She can easily open the freezer to take out the ice cream she’s in the mood for and knows where we keep the ice cream scoop.
Yet, she digs her adorable heals in when we suggest she use the potty.
Don’t even get me started on the sleeping situation in our house, which is another blog post on its own. Let’s just say my post on How to Sleep Train a Toddler is not working and we’re not sleeping nearly as much as we’d like. Thankfully, our curly-haired early-riser has us wrapped around her finger, and she delights us every day. Even though we have bags under our eyes!
We have 2 older kids ages 15 and 12. Hello, age gap! Plan and plan as we might have, our idea to space our children out by 2-3 years didn’t exactly work out, but I’m grateful for the way it happened. There’s something irresistible about a toddler asking her teenage brother 101 questions about what he’s doing at any given moment and why. There is a lot of “WHY???” going on in our house these days. And we’re enjoying the silliness and sweetness of a little kid in contrast to the eye-rolling and door-slamming of a teen and tween. (Lots of that in our house, too.)
A benefit of having an age gap is that it becomes apparent that with enough patience and time, milestones are reached. Even if you’re convinced it’'ll never happen.
After a day of major potty avoidance, our daughter got serious with me last night …
“Mommy, potties are dangerous. I’ll shwink into a tiny mouse and fall in the potty,” she explained in a whisper, her eyebrows furrowed earnestly.
When trying something new, fear is reasonable. I reassured her that sometimes even I get scared and that I’ll be there each time she uses the potty, holding her hand so she doesn’t fall in.
“But your hands are slippery,” she resisted.
This week our approach has been more systematic and disciplined (which basically means we’re trying really hard not to be lazy). Bribery has appeared in the form of M&Ms, a gigantic reward chart taped to her bedroom door plus several hundred puffy stickers from Target, and the promise of a really cool surprise if she goes on the potty each day this week. (Of course, I already ordered the really cool surprise because, well, I’m weak.)
So far there are 8 puffy stickers on the chart and only 3 of them were earned with potty time. The other 5 stickers are a sign of parents who are mentally spent by the end of the day and just want to watch Parks and Recreation on Peacock with a glass of wine in hand. (I still love that show.)
The 3-Day Potty Training Method on Parents.com makes perfect sense.
I’ve considered everything on the list to gauge if our daughter is ready:
Body awareness
A desire for cleanliness
Muscle mastery
Development of a routine
Curiosity about the potty
Although we’re able to put a check next to each of these recommendations, we’ll just have to let our daughter take the lead. Seattle Children’s Hospital also has helpful tips, which you can find here, but overall it’s about knowing your child. Children generally overcome obstacles when they’re truly ready. Offering gentle, consistent encouragement is a positive step in helping them feel that they’re ready to achieve each goal ahead of them. When our older kids were toddlers, there were always moments that felt like they’d never get resolved, but ultimately they did. Although, our 15-year-old barely touches a vegetable. (Sigh.)
It may not be this week or next but one day soon our toddler will learn to use the potty and she’ll eventually become an expert.